I wear a lot of sound. I know I’ve mentioned it in jest and in
honesty but, I guess I haven’t been too clear about some of the difficulties
living with Synesthesia can create. Now, not every Synnie suffers from Sensory Overload,
(which is awesome) but for those that do their Syn can be a burden during these
times. Now, I’ll clarify what I mean by wearing sound. I’ve mentioned that at
parties and big noisy occasions that I’ve been bombarded with sound and it
wears me out. During a fit of Sensory Overload, however, there’s more to it. I
have been in situations where I’ve spent the majority of my time in an overload
and I didn’t even know it.
Example, I’ve mentioned I used to work on the phones
and that it had a deleterious effect on my health.
Well, I would absorb so much
sound and color in my periphery during the day that by the end I felt as though
there were seams in my skin ready to split if I so much as bent too far in one
direction. My head was filled with the jumble of noise from the day and
sometimes it would be hard to clear all the noise out of my mind’s eye, as if I
were some kind of noise retainer and it just lingered there constantly. People’s
voices would ring in my head long after I was done dealing with them and I just
wanted to shut their voices out.
It was excruciatingly painful and I would usually be
in panic mode by the time my shift was over. Once I got home and could stick my
head into a pair of comfortable headphones and listen to Dvorak I was good. I
could sit in stillness and listen to music that was calming and I could
literally feel the throbbing heat in my back begin to ebb as the cold press of
the music would issue them away. My periphery would fill with the colors of the
music and the aches in my skull would subside. Often I’d just lay flat on the
floor and let it seep out of me.
Pretty much, after a shift I’d ache all over, my
head would be killing me, I’d have heart palpitations and my eyes and teeth
would ache together. Getting to my safe zone is what helped me work the day out
of my system. I did this every day for three plus years and it was getting
harder and harder to take comfort. The agony began to compile and soon I was in
a bad place all around. When I got laid off I spent two weeks just getting the
ick out of my skin and muscle tissue, like cleaning a grease trap that’s been
ignored for far too long (pleasant image am I right?). My health improved
remarkably when I was no longer overloaded almost 24/7. This stuff can be
serious so, I have found ways to cope with my little panics in private. I haven’t
told my family about the condition so…hence the ‘deal with it yourself’
situation but…I’ll detail that in another post, it’s sure to be a long one.
Wow working in a call center that long is impressive! Those can be some of the worst jobs ever and hard for anyone to deal with all that noise, especially for someone with this condition. I've heard people talking about seeing colors while listening to music, I thought they were just imagining what color a sound would remind them of and not actually seeing them. Thanks for sharing your experiences, I like that drawing with the headset stabbing the guy in the head, I've heard that description of working in a call center from other people too lol
ReplyDeleteI'm glad you liked the post! I wrote another message in here earlier but for some reason the internet decided to eat it. If you get another post saying something similar it might be the ghost post that went awry somewhere, lol.
DeleteYeah call centers are pretty bunk. I wouldn't wish them on anybody, least of all a Synesthete with a condition like mine.
That bitterness aside, I'm glad you liked the content and the artwork. It's always awesome to get feedback and I appreciate that you took the time. :D
Of course! I look forward to reading more about your experiences if you post anymore in the future. :D
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